“I am happy to pay for the immensely overpaid BBC salaries to mediocre celebrity personalities who do not deserve a fraction of what they are paid. Gary Lineker £1.8 million per annum, no problem. Zoe Balls, £1.4 million, a drop in the ocean. In fact, I think they all need another massive pay rise.”
Speaking from the Bellevue Mental Hospital in Burnley, the 28-year-old man revealed that he is also the fifth cousin of Napoleon Bonaparte, and regularly talks to alien species from Alpha Centauri.
When asked about how he pays for the licence fee of £157.50 per annum, the man simply shrugged his shoulders, bent over and farted.